Saturday, August 20, 2005

Blogging away my weekend blues....

A nice thought from Julia cameron:

"Leap and the net will appear"

* * * * *

Today morning I was on my way to the office when I saw a middle aged man lying by the roadside, struggling with an epileptic attack. I would've just passed by but two young men on their bike stopped and rushed to help him. I too followed them. They gave him a bunch of keys and I put my bike's key in his other hand. He struggled for a minute and recovered slowly. We helped him get up. He started in his choking voice about his ailment, how this was his third attack that morning, how he required rs. 90 for the tablets, etc. Those guys thought for a while and put rs. 20 in his hand and went away. I gave him another 20 but he said he only wanted the medicine, not the money and it would be very kind of me if I could help him get those tablets.
As I drove back, I constantly thought about that man. What if he were just acting to extract money ( he recovered so fast ! I recalled ). I shouldn't have given him so much --I had added another 100 rs. to the initial 20.

What if he was not acting and was really in need of medication?

Why is it that I dream up situations in which those who matter watch me perform such acts and express their admiration silently?

This troubles me more. I couldn't say no when he pleaded for money. I gave him money because I couldn't say 'no', more than because I felt for his misery.

* * * * *

Today is the day of worshipping Goddess Mahalakshmi. I didn't even remotely think that there could be worlds beyond what we see, hear, touch etc, and there are beings there like us, better than us or worse than us. This is something that has to be directly experienced than argued upon: like you can't convince a blind man about the splendour of the rainbow, he will know only when he 'sees'.

But how do you see?

I'll write emphatically about this only when I 'see' for myself. Right now I only have the faith that I can see if I sincerely follow my master.


  1. Sometimes it doesnt matter if the person is or isnt being honest. I think the thing thats important is that you out of the goodness of your heart tried to help another human being who was in need. We cant go along wondering if each act of kindness was worthy..we just have to keep doing them regaurdless

  2. ummm, yeah that's thoughtful,jen.
    Maybe we are watching over our shoulders wondering who's watching us and who isn't.
    Do it and just shut up-- like a zen monk.
    Thanks for your observations.