Sunday, August 31, 2014
Monday, August 11, 2014
The drizzle begins slowly but I zoom through and soon enough I reach home. The moment I get in and park my two-wheeler, the skies open up and the torrents of water come gushing down!!! A lovely blast of rains for the next hour...thick sheets of water from the skies to the Earth. And there's only one thought in me....that small desperate prayer sent up....and the dark heavy pregnant clouds sprinkling a few drops for a while...and then bursting once I reach home!!! Coincidence????? My heart screams....'No! damn it...you were heard! They waited out for you!' And for the rest of the evening, I'm smiling in gleeful excitement, pushing back all rationalizations.
The next day I'm ambling in the morning park. The Sun is yet to rise and the whole place is one lovely green paradise, fresh from last nights rains. I turn a pathway and walk towards a cluster of trees. One tree stands spreading out its wonderful shade across a wide area...and I just look up at the branches....and a lovely breeze blows and the whole tree sways, its leaves murmuring. As if its saying 'hello, good morning!'. I walk ahead and there's another tree...and as I near it, the breeze comes again, and that tree too sways its leaves. Now, I'm curious....and I turn a pathway and walk to another tall tree which is a silent spectator. No shaking, no breeze and I smile up at the lovely giant. And suddenly the leaves begin to murmur and start swaying as a breeze blows in!!!
I can't describe the bursts of joy I've been experiencing since this small conversation happened with Mother Nature...my very first to and fro! It's as if a small window has opened on my wall and I'm looking out into an entirely new world...a fascinating enchanting world, nothing like what I've seen and known until now. All of a sudden I'm a kid on the beach who has been struggling with the sand castle for a long time...and in an instant, the castle stands out perfect and I gaze at it, all dirty and soiled, beaming with pride at this very small accomplishment.
Yes...i know, all of this could be a beautiful coincidence. And if it ain't a coincidence ...and there's an other worldly explanation, these two experiences are pretty simple--not Earth Shattering! Nothing compared to the gigantic experiences and awakenings of many other lovely Souls. Yet....
....the unabashed joy and glee that's still inside me since this happened....these are my pointers. To what...I don't know. It's just beautiful.
Posted by Vishwa at 12:56 AM
Saturday, July 05, 2014
I leave the mountain...but the mountain doesn't leave me. I think that I've escaped it, but no, it doesn't let me escape. Wherever I go, whichever road I take, somewhere the mountain appears. And stands there, mocking at me. Blocking my view of the horizon. Challenging me. I make feeble attempts to climb it and fall down and hurt myself. And excuse myself and escape. Again and again.
Its a cat and mouse game. 'Climb me,' the mountain says in my dreams. 'I'll promise you a spectacular view'. I give no shit. I'm not interested. I'm happy with my small secure existence on the ground. Mountains are not for everyone...I reason. I love my non-mountaineous life.
But....my fate is tied to the mountain. Wherever I go, whatever I do...I can't escape this mountain. The more I avoid it, the more huge it grows...eating away at my small pathways...making it more and more difficult for me to live on my ground. 'At some point you have to climb me,' the mountain warns, but with an affectionate smile. 'Don't be scared...try once'.
I'm tired of escaping it all my life. I almost got killed trying to flee this mountain. I missed so much in life owing to this fear of climbing, this fear of falling, this fear of injury. So....one day, when the mountain stands in my way again, I take a rope from my fellow travellers and start the climb. Its a gigantic steep cliff...and I'm scared to death just looking at the sheer height and expanse of the hard rocks. 'Go on,' my friends egg me from below. Holding my thumping heart, I attempt the climb. First few nervous, helpless steps...I find a good foot hold...and all of a sudden, there's a shift in the energies! Something has skipped a beat somewhere!! The mountain is no longer gigantic and imposing. It's bloody mellowing down!!! And I'm no longer the scared to death adult...but am growing up into the joyful, adventurous kid who would swing on the hillocks!!!
Imagine a huge burden which you've been carrying for a long time...and you just keep it down. Or it evaporates and in a moment, you're set free. Have you watched the movie, 'The Pursuit of happyness'? There's a scene at the end where Will Smith gets confirmed on his job after months and months of struggle and hardships...and suddenly all his worries vanish..and he can't take it, he can't believe it. He rushes down to the pavement and stands there, in the middle of a stream of people, unable to believe what's happening, not knowing how to express his absolute joy, exhilaration, bewilderment...oh God...you've to watch it. You have to watch that scene after watching the entire movie...and if you don't have goosebumps...if you don't have a lump in your throat...I bet you aren't human.
I am experiencing what he experienced. That tiny moment of absolute relaxation and relief. Of having stepped over my fear of the mountain. And the Mountain is mellowing and smiling. I'm the joyous kid, re-learning my ropes. This tremendous freedom...this weight off my heart...I dunno how to contain it. I don't know.
Posted by Vishwa at 12:41 AM
Sunday, June 15, 2014
This temporariness of human interactions ...and how deep certain bondings go and how shallow most of them remain....that's been playing on my mind for a while. I'm sitting in a small hall, listening to some presentations---and I turn to my left and there's a girl. She too turns towards me...our eyes meet for a nano second. And we look back at the stage. While I walk out of that hall, I think of this girl and the first thought is...'I'll never see or interact with her again.' I pull my bike out of the parking lot, and there's another girl struggling with a heavy bullet bike and her boyfriend(?) behind her is encouraging her, pushing it. They're in my field of awareness for roughly ten seconds before I start my bike and rush through the drizzly night towards my home. Another interaction...fleeting out of my life.
I bump against at least a few hundred people everyday on my way to office and back. Almost all of them are 2 second interactions...except maybe the policeman at the traffic junctures, the same vendors who rush in to sell their wares, the security guard who opens the gate at my office. How high is the probability that I'll get to meet at least one of these people(from the 2 second interaction group), again in my life? Dunno....almost null I guess. If I go to office at exactly the same time, in the same route, and try to register each and every face that I come across..maybe I'll see similar faces after a while. And assuming they too are in a similar thought process of establishing friendships, maybe I'll greet them, they smile back, we strike up a conversation etc. Hasn't happened even once all these years, so its as if I'm blindly rushing through a sea of humanity whom I briefly touch against every day....yet, like a lotus leaf that doesn't get wet by the surrounding water, I emerge dry and clean...and return back to my familiar atmosphere...of familiar faces.
There's an auto-rickshaw driver who, out of his own will, got out of his vehicle and pushed my car a short distance when the battery went dead, so that I could jump start it. Turned and shouted a thanks with a smile and....gone...haven't seen him again, though he cut through and removed a huge misery from my life that night. There's another guy...again an auto-rickshaw fellow who drove me and my parents home one late night from the railway station and stopped in the middle of nowhere and briefly vanished...God knows with what intention...and my parents sensing danger flagged down another auto and we were safe home. Two guys...one who saved and the other who would've destroyed...two very important people. How many such interactions have I had? Hundreds...if I start remembering and counting. Maybe...they were meant to arrive at those intense points, turn fate's lever with a great might, and then vanish into thin air...never to cross my life again. Just thinking how important a role they played and how things could've altered slightly or greatly...it sends me into a state of awe!
Friends change too and vanish, reappear etc. I have had very deep friendships and bondings...starting right from my childhood. Only one guy has stood the test of time and I get to meet and talk to him, very occasionally. Some have connected back through facebook. Maybe I've brushed against a few thousand people...important and otherwise since the day I was born until now....and those I truly know and still interact with...they are rare. Relations change, people flit out of your life, new ones arrive....yet some bondings endure and remain. Some remain suspended for a long period ...and suddenly get ignited and spring back to life, as if by magic. Only those who're bonded by blood--your relatives---they remain a constant in this ever changing medley of human interactions and bondings. And a few friendships go deep with or without any effort, and before you know, you have formed your circle of friends who vibrate with your frequency. And this possibility of forging deep bonds with a select few...it appears to be a mystical process, beyond any human interference or effort. It looks like you've taken the time and care to nurture such relations, or maybe the other people have contributed too...but NO...I sense, its beyond you. You were meant to go deep with them and they with you. Period.
There's a lovely song where a small boy who arrives to a new city wonders... 'So many houses, and where is mine? So many people here, and who are my people?' His bewilderment is mine too at times. In this sea of humanity, a few waves splash at me and I get drenched with a few drops, although I swim constantly in these waters. Maybe its meant to be that way.
Posted by Vishwa at 5:32 PM
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Posted by Vishwa at 3:36 PM
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Posted by Vishwa at 5:10 PM
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Posted by Vishwa at 1:17 PM