Saturday, October 29, 2005

Festival of lights.

Diwali is here again. Lights everywhere. Rains too-- it doesn't dampen the spirit of celebration.

Making an all out effort for something big. Never done this, only dreamt all along.

Things have changed in my life. Never took stock of this. Dad is more free with me nowadays. We speak easily to one another, crack jokes---this wasn't possible last year when i was pursuing my dream(?) of becoming a writer, and also when i was more reclusive and introspective. I seldom thought how parents would be feeling. Dad had retired from service, and mom was about to finish her tenure in the health department. They must've been worried for my future.

I was sad about the lack of anything in my life at that moment and this certainly troubled them more. My spiritual practices gave me hope in that hour but dad didn't approve of this. For him, spirituality was escapism from an active life and couldn't be practiced by one who was in the thick of life. Some of his relatives had abandoned their families and run away in search of God, and Dad thought i would do the same one day.

Now i see a kind of relief in him and Mom. I have a steady job, i'm getting married, and my spiritual family is my biggest support--something dad has realised now. My master never turned away from life, and what we learn from him only makes us better humans, not escapists. There's more fun and laughter at home nowadays. I'm no more reclusive. It's as if there was some block between all of us, and it has just melted away. And my pursuit and passion for writing is even more intense now.

Feeling light and warm within although Bangalore is freezing and dripping wet.

A happy deepavali to all bloggers( In particular Jen, Ash, chez, Bookworm, Jen from states, b&p and Natalia) and everyone on Planet earth.

Let all darkness melt away in the light of Diwali's lamp.