Monday, May 29, 2006

Go where you belong

Drizzle in the early morning! It's either irritating or refreshing depending on what you plan to do that day. If you have nothing to do but just sit at your window and open your favourite book, with a steaming cup of tea by your side...Nothing beats this weather. Like it's happening now.

The road in front of my house is newly tarmaced. My neighbours who used to finish their morning walks on their terrace or evening talks and gossips in their compounds, have started coming out of their houses for a leisurely walk on this newly prepared road. It's just a road, nothing much, but still when i look out of my window at nights when not a soul stirs here, there's a silent grace, a majesty that this road seems to have developed. It's as if a sick person who was confined to bed is now resplendent with health and is moving around happily.

I've always believed that there's much more to life than what we know and think we know. A hundred years ago nobody believed that plants had life but now it's an accepted fact. Life throbs even in a grain of sand, in a wisp of air, in a piece of stone, in places, in ideas.....maybe it takes a scientist to prove it in some lab and present a paper on it before the common man comes to accept it.

This road looks happy and healthy. Hope it stays so for long!

An oldman walks silently on one end of the road. He has recently lost his wife. I wonder at his thoughts, his daily life, his perception. Such a situation is a mystery to me and i keep thinking how those people feel. You've spent your entire life with a person, and one day that person is no more. Considering that you are an ordinary person who hasn't delved deep into the mysteries of life and haven't found 'light'---how do you feel?

The uncertainty of life amazes me when i pay attention to certain details. I was speaking to a friend this evening, and I couldn't help noticing the cynicism that had crept into his voice, into his demeanour. He's a young man working in a bank, married, has a small kid, but he spoke as if he were a poor father of 5 grown up girls, without a hope of getting them married off. Listening to him made me feel dejected--his pessimism was infectious. He was different last year.

Sometimes you come across the reverse---hopelessly depressed people discovering the joy of life --I see this in others, in myself sometimes. A close friend I'd conversed with last evening is no more by today afternoon. Long forgotten friends call up one night and chat for an hour, refreshing all your lost memories. Things are stuck up and miraculously there's a smooth flow. And sometimes the opposite....

All these thoughts lead back to what Eckhart tolle says--the inevitability of the Present moment. This is also what Zen says. No tomorrow. Or the past. Only this moment. For me, it's more than these. It's a motivation to go beyond the mundane and experience, explore other realities. To stretch myself beyond what is known and convert my faith into a reality through experience.

The turbulence on the surface is only an invitation to dive deep and capture the unshakeable depths of life. And unless we discover that depth within ourselves, life will continue to be a roller coaster ride of temporary happiness and sorrow.

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