Have to look up...

Ekhart tolle says this today:
'Death is the stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to die before you die and know that there's no such thing called death.'

There's a small puppy outside my door. It's a stray dog and one day when it came to our house, dad fed it with some leftovers. Since then it has stayed in our compound. The kids --my sister's son and daughter play with it, and my little niece can be coaxed to eat food only when the pup's around. It sometimes shits on our terrace and this infuriates mom. She blames dad for feeding it and also the kids for keeping it company. Two days back it got a nice beating for dirtying our terrace.

It's cold outside and the pup's curled up near the door. When i walk in, it shrinks further, anticipating a whack on its back. I whistle once. It opens up and starts jumping around, wriggling its tail in joy.
Somehow i feel good thinking about this pup.

What do you mean by 'Empathy'? The ability to stand in someone's shoes and feel what he feels-- understand him in his perspective!! Two posts ago, i wrote about a friend who fell from grace, and how i felt a wicked joy in some remote corner of my heart. How does someone feel when he slips down? I learn it first hand today.

My entire team gets a hike in salary, except me. My boss calls me and says that i'll not get a hike this time because of some past performance--he praises my recent efforts and promises that if this continues, i'll get a good one next time round, blah blah blah...I feel a pang however much i try to keep myself composed. Those who learn about this express their concern and sympathy and this gets on my nerves all the more. I try not to think of all my hardwork, my extra efforts staying late at nights, working on weekends....

Maybe my friend felt hurt and let down, similar to what i'm feeling now. His situation is different from mine, but the pangs and feeling of worthlessness must be the same. I know that there are a million worthwhile issues in this world, that people are dying everyday of hunger, disease, hatred--- that many people are without jobs, without dignity, without hope. My situation in life is a lot better than that of many people on this earth. In this enormous universe, where billions of galaxies are born and annihilated every moment, what's the big deal about the salary hike of someone living on a small speck called earth?

I wish i could think of all these and stay calm. I wish i could brush all of this aside and stay unaffected. I wish i were a saint--an enlightened person. I know that i'm not all these -- i'm just human.

Feeling a bit depressed. Will be fine soon.