The Thug from Taponagara...

'You look a lot tired, with that beard of yours. When are you going to shave it off?'

'Not before 21st dec, 2012...'

'Why're you persisting with this look? You look different, like a ruffian...'

Yes, I do. Like a recluse. Like LCD, who after three years reappeared, with knotted, unwashed hair like a sanyasi, but with a wife and small daughter in tow. My appearance has changed in the past few months, because of my unkempt, untrimmed beard--sparse on the cheeks and lush on the chin. I have no reason not to shave, not look like a decent bummer. But I don't think ones appearance changes just because of a change of hairstyle or by the presence/lack of facial hair. When something changes within, in the attitude or way of thinking of a person, it manifests in his outward appearance in subtle and mysterious ways. So you somehow look different if your inner structures are broken or rebuilt, even if you're all trimmed up and pucca on the outer.

In my late teens I grew long hair falling on my shoulders--I didn't visit the barber for almost two years. That appearance somehow suited the introversion and angst I was going through at that time. Looking back, I think it was an act of rebellion, a kind of asserting my feeble rights that made me not cut my hair. Around that time, there was a classmate of mine in college, who had decent whiskers and was a silent guy who kept to himself all the time. In the final year of college, he did a U turn--shaved off his beard and also became notoriously outgoing. It would be wrong to associate his change in nature with the beard but somehow that connection clicked for me. Without the beard, it was as if he'd kept aside a mask, or had gotten rid of something, some block and soon the energy of life was flowing through him. It could all be mumbo jumbo or maybe there's some stupid connection.

When I see a bearded man, I wonder how he'd look if he had a clean shave. Most of the time it's impossible to imagine, it's like trying to think up someone without their ears or nose--the change in appearance could be that drastic. The beard grower also seems to sense this intutively--very few people with healthy beards shave them off; the beards are a part of their face, their personality and will persist for the entire life. If you remove it, either you're keeping aside something and exposing yourself, or you're getting rid of a past baggage and are starting a new phase. Like it happened with a friend, kitty, who shaved off his beard after years and years of his bachelor existence and entered wedlock, with a clean slate(and clean face).

Of course, all of this has no relation or significance to my small, young whiskers. I'm not growing any blocks within, nor am I putting on a mask. But if I look thuggish with this appearace, Yes! I've become a thug off late. I've become irreverant, with a go-to-hell attitude. Good for me, I guess.