Back to navel-gazing...

It's like waking up after years and years of deep slumber. Kinda disoriented in the beginning. Then you try to make sense of the surroundings, try to remember things, get adjusted to the light, overcome the initial nausea and soon you're getting clear within....

.......... The mood was a bit sullen at home when suddenly tejas mumbled some nonsense, and said 'painthyow'. We laughed out aloud, the spirits brightend. I ask the kid, 'whats the meaning of that 'paintyow', and he says, 'it means, my head'.

........I was thinking about what G said long back...."your thoughts and emotions exist, they are real, the world you create is real and has a life of its own, at a different level". For me, at the moment, it's only theory, but maybe he said it from his experience, from viewing things directly. If it's true, I wonder at the beauty of it, the complexity and the way it's allowed to come into existence without disturbing(or disturbing at times) the dominant physical reality.

It also creates a hollow in my heart, because of all the dirty thoughts and nasty daydreams I conjure up every now and then. Do they exist and is that drama continuing at some level? How does the impurity or purity of that existence affect my reality here? Is reality one big kaleidoscope of all these subworlds intersecting and coagulating together?

And what exactly is reality? In enlightenment, what happens? Is it like waking up and realising that all this was a dream, and then going back into the dream world, but with the awareness that this is a dream from which I have woken up? What's that I wake up to? Are there layers here, say a higher reality to which I open up even after the first awakening, and on and on? Where does it end?

..........There's a small review of my blog, here. The writers over there have a talent for taking apart a blog, scrutinise the mental health of the writer and then use all filthy/foul expressions in a hilarious way to tear the blog into shreds. Not always, of course, because sometimes they're quite generous when they come across a superb blog. Also, their suggestions for improving one's writing are good. I was expecting a bashing over there and was sharpening my knives to cut their innards incase they got nasty, but no, they spared me, along with some insightful comments. If you have a blog and want some fun, submit and get ready for a reality check.

.......... 'Time's compressed further,' kar said. '7 and a half hours now'. You may not believe this mumbo jumbo but think...doesn't time zip ahead these days? We're already in the beginning of 2011, and it's only like yesterday where we were told,"....by 2011 there will be this and this, and you're expected to be that and something else." 2010 yacked hard at your balls and before you could gather yourself and blink, it escaped. Now you have another bitch in front of you, a supposedly meaner and nastier one. What's in store this year?

This will be year of shedding clothes, for every retard on this planet. People are gonna get naked upto their bones. The signs are already bloody ominous, if you're awake and are watching. How different will the world be from our current situation, on Jan 29th 2012.....Can't hardly wait!