Thursday, February 05, 2009

That hidden desire...

'It's raining here,' she says over the phone.'And your son's getting scared. So we're telling him that it's nothing, just that God's pissing....'

I have a hearty laugh imagining his expression over hearing this.

* * *

I turned a complete vegetarian one fine day, 18 years ago, after reading an article in a news magazine. It was sudden. Until then, I had no qualms munching fish, chicken, mutton, prawns and molluscs but what made me give up on everything is still a bit hazy for me. I said, 'No more meat for me, please,' and my parents went,'what's wrong with you?' Then followed lots of admonishes, threats(in a jovial way), cajoles, taunts, but I held fast. Only twice I lost control--once in mumbai when I said, what the hell, and went and had a chicken biriyani. And another time, it was during one of my visits to my village. The aroma of the prawn curry was so tantalizing, so mouth watering, that I kept aside all shame, went to my aunt and said, 'Well...I think, I'll have it...' and everyone roared with laughter and it was the big news of the day.

Later I took up meditations and came to understand the low vibrations of non-vegetarian food that comes in the way of spiritual growth, but by that time, I'd outgrown my desire for it. Sometimes my friends would remind me that the cake I just had was prepared out of bread and Egg and I'd say, 'fine'. Think about it a bit and ponder whether it would be a good idea to give up on cakes or go only for eggless cakes. But it wasn't a bother, though. What's still pricking is the occasional saliva that springs automatically whenever the aroma of an egg omlette wafts through the air. I mean, we used to prepare it at home--two eggs mashed thoroughly, lots of onion, coriander leaves, chillies, soft coconut layers and you pour the mixture into a flat disc shape and roast it to a golden brown colour on low flame, take it out and while it's still hot, fold it between two slices of bread and then....Difficult not to salivate imagining it...

'Eat it once, if you're so crazy,' she admonishes. Yes, no, Yes, no.......

* * *

Valentine's day is nearing, so all the lunatics of our land are getting ready for another round of terrorism. The right-wing groups here have threatened that they'll hunt for couples who're out celebrating on that day, catch hold of them, take them to the registrar's office and forcibly get them married! And the left wing groups have threatened to kick these guys who attempt such intimidation. Meanwhile our venerable government(ruled by the right wing party), which we've elected to govern us, has issued statements saying that no group will be banned, everyone has the right of expression and nobody should take law into one's hand.

It makes one wonder in which era and which country are we living in? Is this India or the taliban controlled afghanistan? And, have we, by any chance slipped out of the 21st century into the dark middle ages?

What horrifies me even more is the utter insensitivity and cluelessness of a few people I know very closely, whom I interact with everyday--who're supporting these right wing lunatics! It's bloody shocking. My colleageaus say that these groups are right, these couples have no business going around and corrupting the culture! When the same groups attacked a pub in Mangalore a few weeks ago and bashed up the partygoers in the name of upholding our sacred culture, we were watching the events on TV. My family members said that those youngsters deserved it for enjoying so much, that it's high time someone told them how to behave. I mean, what the hell, dammit. I was too numb to say anything. Is it just that something's wrong with me, when I say that nobody has any business dictating terms to others? That there's no such thing as culture or tradition and what's happening here is pure goondaism? That you can't bloody impose your beliefs on others, you idiots!

This is ridiculuos. Bloody ridiculous. Hell.


  1. This is an interesting insight into Valentine's Day and how it is now political. I do not know what makes people so afraid that they will slide into corruption if they watch others do things that they enjoy. I consider myself a liberal but do not want to watch the gay parade in Key West, Florida as it can be somewhat pornographic and I wish they were not allowed to do that. Life is very complicated.

  2. Twenty five years ago, when I decided to turn vegetarian, I had the same problems. It was fine until my mother decided to fry prawns, and I would give in to the temptation and put off my vow by a day! I would feel such remorse later, and decide to be more firm next time! Five years later, I had completely gotten over the temptation;in fact, my system could no longer accept meat. As you had mentioned, it was only later I realized why I had turned vegetarian.
    I am very concerned, as you are, at the intolerance that is rearing its head in Mangalore. Why can't we let people live their lives the way they want to?

  3. Tabor,...If a gay parade happens in bangalore, I guess, all hell will break loose. It's amusing to note the difference in the degree of liberal mindset, across different parts of the world. And many of those whom we call liberals here could be considered staunch conservatives in your part of the world.'s so difficult to break free of non-vegetarian habits, particularly when others in the family are relishing it and the air's filled with the aroma :-). That's the main reason we're not allowing our son to have non-vegetarian food, inspite of strong insistences from everyone around.