Friday, October 20, 2006

Lights....everywhere!


There are sounds of crackers ringing from distant horizons. It's one hell of a long weekend. We get a new tv set and also a direct to home satellite connection. Archana wants gifts for everyone at home--she enjoys giving gifts. Last week when dad's books got published, she drew and painted a beautiful card for him. At work, there's less hurry and tension-- a kind of eased out atmosphere. In the midst of all these, I get a special message in my mailbox. Happiness. Like the cool weather, there's a pleasant ambience all around.

When I think of this change, it amazes me. Simply because, by this time last week, I was worried sick over a silly thing. I thought I'd make a fool of myself before a number of people--all my hidden fears were about to explode in my face. When the moment came, nothing happened. None of the disasters that I'd imagined materialised. Whether it were unknown forces that glided me past my troubles or whether it was my own imagination that had magnified trivial things--I'll never know. But life is smooth again and I'm wiser by a degree or two.

An occasion to become philosophical. Thinking about my own motivation makes me realize that most of the time, I'm running after short-lived pleasures or I'm escaping from hidden fears and weaknesses. Most of my life has been a movement away from or towards such mundane things. However hard I convince myself about my spiritual ambitions and lofty ideals, ultimately when I stand face to face with myself, I know that I can't fool myself. In spite of the occasional pursuit and desire for flight, I'm an earth-bound human. My roots are stronger than my wings.

This small understanding gives me a strange strength. Of course, things don't get better overnight. There will be a hundred struggles and innumerable failures before I climb over and wipe my brows. The journey is long and arduous, but it's bleak no longer. There's a slight clarity. When I know my own shortcomings, I also know that I won't slip easily next time around. Every failure and slippage will be a part of the success.

And how long will it be before I slip out of this pursuit of success and escape from failure?

Let there be light and love everywhere with this Diwali. Let all of us find the true brilliance that's hidden within and share it with each other. And a special prayer for Nick. Get well soon!

A happy diwali to all my friends, visitors and everyone in the blogworld and the real world.

4 comments:

  1. Happy Diwali, and yes prayers to nick, i enjoyed his posts, especially the monday morning ones.

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  2. What a lovely insightful post Vishwa. Strangely enough a similar atmosphere pervades my very different world - a lightening, easing and a glowing. All sorts of good things happening.

    " a movement away from or towards.." thats how we operate isnt it, even moment to moment. Either craving or aversion, the opposite sides of the same coin. Yet noticing that fact is the first and biggest step.

    Seasons greetings to you and your family.

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  3. Val...Yes, we always operate in that way--moving away from or towards some mundane thing. It's a universal tendency maybe, and in this aspect we're all one [ in our ignorance, if not in love and understanding:-) ]
    Yet when you realise it for the first time, you have a 'Aha' moment--a kind of epiphany. Challenge is to build up on it, try and get out of the mad race, try to be rooted.....
    It's a long journey, but the beauty comes when you enjoy the journey irrespective of the occasional slips or triumphs. Am trying to enjoy!
    Thanks so much for the greetings. I wish you, your family and friends the very best in life.

    Appu...thanks a lot. Have a nice time. Let's hope nick gets back to the blogworld soon.

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