It's an extrovert's world out there...

...and introverts have a tough time coping up. People love a social butterfly, and view with suspicion someone who struts around unsure. Loners arent tolerated...and are marked for reforming 😁.

I've struggled with this all through my life, teenage onwards. Unable to move around and find my place. Being pushed around to 'open up', be more social and friendly, not to shy-up....and not knowing how the fuck to do all of this. Chided for not having many friends and being with myself. Struggling severely to become more outgoing, and losing the plot. Taking stupid horrendous decisions and losing years of my life. Boy it's been hellish.

Introverts, I came to learn later, process energy differently. They are recharged in solitude and aloneness. They enjoy the company of friends and close relatives but too much of social interaction drains them, pushing them to seek solitude again. I loved such solitude. Books opened up whole new worlds for me. Music soothed. Thinking and contemplation. Meditation. Solitary, long walks. And writing! Finding my voice through creative writing, and absolutely loving it. And severely hated and detested all attempts to reform me into a socially active bumblebee.

Extroverts are charged up in the company of people. But put them alone in a room, with books or music or nothing...and they go mad after a while. They need others, they need drama for energy exchange and survival. Try telling an extrovert, "why don't you be more alone and reflective? Why always restless for others' company? Why can't you be more introverted? 😀😁😂"

There's another breed of humans...a rare and lucky group-- the middleverts. They seem to enjoy the best of both worlds--intro and extroversion--moving with ease into either situations as needed. Opening up with selected groups of friends and acquaintances, and retreating into solitude when needed. Having skills to navigate socially, and also traversing the inner worlds. My kid fits in here, so do many kids I know, and many lovely adults.

This is the place a 'reforming'(?) extrovert or introvert may arrive at...but trust me, they arrive when left to themselves, and never by being pushed around. Like sexual orientation, like being a left hander, introversion is an inbuilt trait which you cant mess around with. Accept an introvert THE WAY SHE IS without trying nobly to lift her up..... make her feel comfortable in who she is...and watch her blossom beautifully in unknown ways. And gentle nudges, pointing towards things that help, and making them aware of the social consequences and rewards for different kinds of behaviour....these go a long way in helping someone avoid the dark places of introversion (social awkwardness, loneliness, depression), and extroversion (bullying, arrogance, interfering).

And absolute non-judgemental love! I received it from one lovely person, and in exchange lost a huge chunk of pain and hesitation in a short time. Strutted and stumbled in front of him and got in response a gentle knowing soothing smile. Have tried to follow his footsteps ever since. God bless His soul wherever He is.

So what do you do when you come across an introvert, and get an urge to improve them? If you have the presence, expansion, and capacity to hold space for another soul...do nothing. Your non-judgemental presence alone will soothe his hassled nerves.

Else...just keep quiet and leave them alone! They're just fine. ....it's you and your reformative urge that need counselling and help.