Monday, September 16, 2013

Straight from the Gut...

 The continuous lashing of rains...the hissing sound...I just love it. Closing my eyes, I listen to the various textures and rhythms of rainfall, as late monsoons drizzle over my city at night. Then I realize---the sound and music of rains was humming in the background all along, only I wasn’t paying attention. I was lost somewhere inside my head. Now I listen, and the rains come alive.

 Something may exist or may not, it doesn’t matter. Only when my attention rests on it does it become alive for me.
***

You and I are living in a post apocalyptic world. The apocalypse was supposed to happen on 21st Dec, 2012. And 2013 onwards, either it would be a desolate Earth or an enlightened world that we would inhabit. We should have been living in Light bodies by now!

Nothing dramatic has happened! Or has it? The Planet chugs on its tracks in space, as usual. Early morning brings the milk vendor to my doorstep. Similar events, people and situations cross my awareness through the day. Tiredness envelops me as I embrace the night.

This wasn’t what we had signed up for! What enthusiasm, hopes and dreams we had about the spectacle of 2012, for nearly 3 odd years! And how passionately we believed in all that drama! What an utter flop of imagination!

I wanna believe in mystery and magic again. I want to encounter the miraculous. Not the mundane ordinary everyday world, but something transcendental! Something sublime! Don’t want this slow transformation....want a quantum leap...a total paradigm shift...a sudden makeover into an entirely new world!

***

‘You were on a runway for 3 years,’ I told Karthik. ‘Now you are taking off!’.

 Yes, Karthik’s small dream took off, with a workshop. Three years ago, he started Vishwa Amara and began putting some wonderful knowledge online, through articles and two ebooks. There were students receiving spiritual guidance too. It was low key, kinda gathering strength, maybe.

Now he has stepped out. Conducted a meditation workshop, thrown open to any spiritual enthusiast. There were three dozen attendees. Some fantastic and new techniques to practice. A small event on a lazy Sunday afternoon, in a relatively unknown corner of Bangalore.

No...not a small event !!! This is a take off point. It carries huge potential. Like a stream which will eventually become a raging river, Vishwa Amara is now at a phase where it can become the focal point of spiritual seekers, all over the world! They have the knowledge, techniques and Spiritual contacts. They have the credibility, built up and nurtured over years. They are absolutely dedicated to their work. And...they are fantastically capable of guiding people spiritually!

Years later...this small workshop will be remembered as the point where Vishwa Amara opened up. I’m mighty happy for these two friends of mine, for the opportunities that stretch before them. And yes.... a bit concerned of the pitfalls that come with great work, great responsibilities and recognition. The pitfall that ate up someone who walked this path earlier.

If they don’t pay attention...it will eat them too!

***

How do you feel when you are at the receiving end of intense love? Tremendous passion...something like a single minded madness, but totally pure, totally sublime. Do you think... ‘Wow, what a gift from the Universe?’ Or do you think, ‘Do I deserve this? Can I take it?’

I feel both. And I also feel.... is it possible to offer such an intense, pure, passionate Love...to another human being? And if it’s possible...what a pristine pure heart it must be, which offers such love!

***

I still can’t believe that he is no more! Some people trust totally that he’s still around, guiding them---but for me, he is dead and gone. Like anyone else. It’s difficult to digest the fact that someone like him can be vanquished and taken away by Death!

At one stage, we were in awe of him, in total worship mode. Then as we understood his work, the awe turned to respect and reverence. I wanted to be like him, develop his strength, develop his capabilities at handling difficult situations, become expansive the way he was, carry the love and compassion that he had....

Then...he disappointed! Mightily. Like a very interesting movie which falters post interval and ends up in a stupid climax! You come out of the hall, weary eyed, with a bitter taste in your mouth, undecided whether you enjoyed the first half or wasted your day. You love someone, and that person flops, makes a fool of himself, contradicts himself---and you squirm, wondering, ‘what...’. You feel betrayed for placing your love, trust and emotions in that person. Think sachin tendulkar who gets clean bowled at the death overs, after painstakingly building a great innings...!

 People have very fond memories of him—memories filled with love, reverence and gratitude. I too have such memories, but they get clouded by something else. I try to remember his smiling, laughing, loving face....and his angry, stern face comes up. I think of the solid base he built up, the fantastic structures he raised...and they stand before me as empty, hollow, lifeless edifices Now. The diamonds he had gathered around him, those who had great capabilities, dedication and pure love for his work---I try to remember them. But the only faces I remember are that of the sycophants and devotees...who never questioned, who considered a kick-on-your-ass as a divine test, who had a boss-is-always-right attitude.

Then it strikes.... it’s a ‘last impression’ syndrome, about which I wrote earlier.

His Soul is resting in peace, I’m sure. Maybe he’s smiling, from wherever he is, at this drama, at the way he continues to affect people in various ways long after his departure. The drama has ended for him, but we are still stuck in it. And enjoying it, a bit!!!

40 comments:

  1. This post is clear about what you have experienced,
    hard to accept,and i learnt that jolts are necessary for evolving people like us ,Otherwise we will always remain sleeping in a cradle .
    We are born to receive the PUREST LOVE ,we deserved and deserve it ever Do not waste the lessons you learnt from the experience.........Loved the first para of the post :-) archana.

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  2. This write-up is a lot of things at once, and admirable. Respect. :)

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  3. Every sentence emanates sharpness and clarity..! Kind of "calling spade a spade" ! Vishwanath..Time and again life has offered severe blows to many of us,disappointed us, made us feel" i cannot take it"...and yet... i KNOW there is magic..mystery..which dances and bubbles...it is just there !!!!!! U just need to open ur eyes to it.
    We have seen the sudden make over in you in the last few months..the whole FB knows it !

    Beautiful write up ! Many things covered !!

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  4. I wonder though what kind of pitfall for VA you are concerned about though Vishwanath. You seem very clear about it in your mind as you have written everything else clearly, but unwilling to write it, are you?

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    1. Shikha...samajdhar ko ishara kaafi hai :-)

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    2. Kaash mein itni samajhdaar hoti ! One reason why I couldn't understand/enjoy dhandhle. I understand direct communication better, it clears the air. Nevertheless you are a wondrous writer. :-)

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    3. Thanks Shikha....a lot more can be communicated in things 'not said'. Direct communication doesn't work all the time, doesn't clear the air always, ruffles too many things. Anyways :-)

      (hehehe...dhandhle needs total na-samajdhaari. It needs a zinda dil...which, I'm sure, you have)

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    4. I'm a lil too sensitive. Not many know it. Nevermind. :-)

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    5. Guys..we have all participated in dhandle..had fun..had loads of fun and felt exhilarated after laughing our guts out for hours ! Yes..we have had a few small rough patches as well..But that did not stop us from enjoying further ! A few tiny rough patches did not stop us from celebrating life ! People have had lots of fun participating !! so there..!

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    6. Even though we all have the same light, we've been under the same wings, and have enjoyed and still enjoy each other's company, every single person may not be able to enjoy what every other person does. What may be a fun phase for one may be an exploring and experimenting phase for the other. So guys generalizations don't help, but appreciating our differences gracefully does. Peace 'n' Light!

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    8. And each of us celebrates life, just in our own different ways! :-) Divine Love.

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    9. Yes..each of us celebrate in our ways ! But you have been very much a part of it many a times and completely enjoyed as well. We have deep respects for your withdrawal from dhandle since now u feel it is not for you. We appreciate that you dont appreciate it any more..;-) U can surely celebrate life in your own ways :)
      Yes.. dhandle has been and still is a fun phase for us !

      All of us are sensitive here..in our own ways. May be just that sensitivity has different textures and perceptions with each person.


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    10. Thank you for respecting my withdrawal Pragti, and you cannot judge how much had I been a part because I take time my understanding things and deciding about something.

      Okay to be straightforward here, I had been a part of dhandhle for about sometime, but never in the process to belittle anyone, including Rishis. Ask Vishwanath how I told him quite a few months back that I felt sad of such conversations. I know I am no-one to talk about this because they themselves do not care. But I care. And so I move on. Your "you" and "we" differentiation tells about how deep our friendship had been anyway. Now that all was strictly about me, you all have your own choices.

      Enjoy yourself as you like, we all have that right.

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    11. And yes, gratitude for you all for the translation of comments, that was very touching. Take care.

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    12. Ok....nice little dhandle on my post...hehe....Thanks Pragti and Shikha...!!!

      My two cents....dhandle happened spontaneously between some of us on facebook. The intention was pure leg-pulling and fun--nothing else. It happens even today. And at times, it goes overboard--- and the leg pulling turns into mauling. (Lets give ourselves that margin, we're not Gods yet).

      Yet...it has never caused serious heart-burn to any of us. We have come back and again gummed each other in gentle ways. We even laugh at the kiddish ways in which we mauled one another. No high-brow talks of sensitivity and stuff. Why....because, we value the friendships more than the small skirmishes.

      If anyone of us feels sad about these conversations...and likes to withdraw...they have the right to do so. They should be allowed to withdraw, without an ounce of bitterness. With a silent thanks to the good times spent together :-).

      To really enjoy and appreciate dhandle, we need to be able to laugh at ourselves. Kinda make fun of ourselves, as much as we make fun of others. Without malice! How many times have we 'threatened' Srivatsan that we would tie him to a tree, drench him with honey and send red ants all over him!! He doesn't get depressed or hurt...he gives back a witty retort...and the other day, his wife too joined in and we had a ball of a time. And came back laughing our guts out!!!

      Shikha....you may have looked at the skirmishes and mauling....and decided to withdraw from dhandle. Appreciate and respect your decision. But you'll agree that you've derived more laughter and joy from the fun aspect of those conversations. (Yes, people took the trouble of translating and even explaining the back-story when you joined in the middle)

      But I know that there are quite a few dozen people, who log into facebook to just enjoy this dhandle. They enjoy the fun part and even get dragged into the gumming...and give back too. That makes facebooking all the more enjoyable. So, irrespective of who leaves or who joins, dhandle will go on as long as people have a funny bone to tickle.

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    13. Nice little dhaandle here.. :-) The main intention of starting dhaandle was not to be-little anyone.. It was just to have a bit of fun between ourselves and make fun of ourselves and each other in a very light hearted way without hurting anyone.. I'm sure the rishis themselves do dhaandle at the higher levels and balance it out with the serious work they do..

      The rishis themselves would be pointing at this and saying "Look here dude.. One more dhaandle happening :D lets watch the fun.. These 3 D ppl have no other better work"

      Agree with Vishwanath's last comment here.. And at the end of the day All's well that ends well :-)

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    14. ಧ್ಯಾನಶಾಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕೂತ 'ಧಾಂದ್ಲೆ' ಗೆಳೆಯರು
      ಶಿಕಾ'ಕಾಯಿ'ಯನ್ನು ಪಾಪ ಹಣ್ಣುಗಾಯಿ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದರು...

      ಧಾಂದ್ಲೆ ಮಾಡೆ 'ಜುಟ್ಟು'!!
      ನಂಗ್ ಬರುತ್ತೆ 'ಸಿಟ್ಟು'!!!
      ಕೊನೇಲಿ ಬಿಡ್ತೀನಿ peaceಉ & lightಉ...

      (ಜಾಲಿಬಾರಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಕೂತ ಪೋಲಿ ಗೆಳೆಯರು- ಶೈಲಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಓದಿರಿ)

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    15. hahahahhaha.....awesome awesome....pity this can't be translated....else ;)

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    16. hahahhaha ! entha super paddya bardidare anynonymous sahebru..!! :D

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  5. Excellent, my friend. Quite impressive. Thank you for allowing these peeks into your mind.

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    1. Nick....thank you. How're you doing?

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  6. Enjoyed every bit of your writing....dude. We too enjoyed the take off part of Karhtik.

    When we see life in a wholesome picture it looks different....it will take some time to really see it....everyone will see it..one day or the other, then, our understandings still better.

    we are there always with you, you know it.

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    1. Mahadev sir...it is so nice to see your affectionate comment for your friend !!! Aap don bachpan ki dosti zindabad..!! ;-) my best wishes !!

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    2. Thanks Anand.... There's no wholesome picture...or half picture, however long it takes. We see what we are open to see...ashte guru!!! You are still in awe...so your focus is only on some things, ignoring or rationalizing the rest. I've lost that awe...so I don't mind seeing the unpleasant parts too. :-)

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  7. When the flight gets over we need to feel the Ground. The so called sensitivity is utter foolishness when they cant even gel with the reality. I would have had more stronger version of this blog; and by the way, good penning about the take off captured here. Very few can don the super connection and great response-abilities even when their wings are hurt to dare take-offs. K2 have been persistent and blessed to have healed their wings to be able to take others with them on the flight. Kudos and cheers to the team.
    Well the 'S' needs to mellow down and take things lightly but who knows what wires are twisted inside which requires replacement currently not even possible by the 'R's. 'P, V, V & rest of us' needs to bear with the times and respect others sensitivity with Sensodyne and continue to smirk, ahemmm', correction smile the close up brightness with a dash of Orbit.

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    1. Anon.....that's a fantastic comment....pray...who on Earth are you!!!! Pls pls reveal your identity...at least privately to me. :-)

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    2. ....Well the 'S' needs to mellow down and take things lightly but who knows what wires are twisted inside which requires replacement currently not even possible by the 'R's.....

      hahahahhahaha.....shiva..... if you ever get caught by 'S'....you'll be finished!!!! This one line above will seal your fate....hahahaha!!!

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    3. Oyy Anonymous...! Looking at this comment..i am grinning ! By the way it is a beautiful sentence when you say.." Very few can don the super connection and great response-abilities even when their wings are hurt to dare take-offs. K2 have been persistent and blessed to have healed their wings to be able to take others with them on the flight !!" SO true !! And while the rest of your observations...ahem..ahem..i just have a smirk in response ! ;-)

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  8. Shiva !!!! WHo is this ANYNOMYOUS !!!! :D :D :D hahahahahahahahaha !!!!!!!!!!!! Ye smooth comment i say !! Thanks !

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  9. Anonymous! nin comment ge addi bidde.. :D But who are you I say?? Take off that mask and embrace us all!
    Your comment about 'S' Hahahahaha!!! :D If 'S' happens to read it, the wires will get even more twisted and 'S' will twist your wires as well! :D You will have to go back to the source to get them fixed! The lines about the take off! They have a great potential to fly high, it will be wonderful see them (or anyone for that matter) fulfil that.. We'll just have to wait and see when that happens.. :-)

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    1. Ye Vishwas Prasadaaa...Let anonymous remain anonymous like the Bat man r a Bat woman !!..:D..hehe ! Some amount of mystery is always thrilling !!

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  10. Every Lotus that blooms and weds the sunlight has an evening to shed its petals... I wonder how this Lotus will wither; at Lords feet to be taken and yet donned as Sacred or as weed in the muddy waters to be thrashed...
    Ancients are wielding the eternal play and are deliberately picking the VA lotus with helluva potentiality to christen and beautify Lords feet!!! Hence no worries. Yet again, a word of caution, is just a caring remark lest it not falter and be thrown away as trash.
    Well the cloud that rained and bore fruition withered away and vanished with a false promise yet to have gifted humanity with such a wonderful 'Papaya' which 'R's are enjoying greatly and sharing it with all of us.
    Light irrespective of its origin and source shines bright, gives its fullest and uplifts many if not atleast one more Light to dispel darkness.

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    1. Beautiful !!!!!!!!!!! Wow !!

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    2. Anonymoussu....Fantastic comment!!!.... Loved your expressions and loved this line in particular 'Yet again, a word of caution, is just a caring remark lest it not falter and be thrown away as trash'.... You've grasped exactly what I 'intended'.... and not what you wanted to perceive....like some other mahatmas :)

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    3. ओय छुप के वार करनेवाले तुझको बाबाजी का टुल्लू।
      बेशरम बदमाश

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    4. Oyyy anonymous besharam badmaash....lovely comment, thank you :). Magar tu kyon chupake comment phenk raha hai...apna naam tho bathaa, babaaji!!!

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  11. Hey Vishwa.. just dropped by, remembered you, and memories of some lovely blogging times of the past..
    Ash

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  12. Ash.....Wow....how're you doing...ya....saw you on facebook also, guess I've a lot of catching up to do on your writings and updates. :)
    Thanks for coming by....and reminding of the lovely time and fun we had long back. Take care

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