Straight from the Gut...
Something may exist or may not, it doesn’t
matter. Only when my attention rests on it does it become alive for me.
***
You
and I are living in a post apocalyptic world. The apocalypse was supposed to
happen on 21st Dec, 2012. And 2013 onwards, either it would be a
desolate Earth or an enlightened world that we would inhabit. We should have
been living in Light bodies by now!
Nothing
dramatic has happened! Or has it? The Planet chugs on its tracks in space, as
usual. Early morning brings the milk vendor to my doorstep. Similar events,
people and situations cross my awareness through the day. Tiredness envelops me
as I embrace the night.
This
wasn’t what we had signed up for! What enthusiasm, hopes and dreams we had
about the spectacle of 2012, for nearly 3 odd years! And how passionately we
believed in all that drama! What an utter flop of imagination!
I
wanna believe in mystery and magic again. I want to encounter the miraculous.
Not the mundane ordinary everyday world, but something transcendental!
Something sublime! Don’t want this slow transformation....want a quantum
leap...a total paradigm shift...a sudden makeover into an entirely new world!
***
‘You
were on a runway for 3 years,’ I told Karthik. ‘Now you are taking off!’.
Yes, Karthik’s small dream took off, with a
workshop. Three years ago, he started Vishwa Amara and began putting some
wonderful knowledge online, through articles and two ebooks. There were
students receiving spiritual guidance too. It was low key, kinda gathering
strength, maybe.
Now he
has stepped out. Conducted a meditation workshop, thrown open to any spiritual
enthusiast. There were three dozen attendees. Some fantastic and new techniques
to practice. A small event on a lazy Sunday afternoon, in a relatively unknown
corner of Bangalore.
No...not
a small event !!! This is a take off point. It carries huge potential. Like a
stream which will eventually become a raging river, Vishwa Amara is now at a phase
where it can become the focal point of spiritual seekers, all over the world!
They have the knowledge, techniques and Spiritual contacts. They have the
credibility, built up and nurtured over years. They are absolutely dedicated to
their work. And...they are fantastically capable of guiding people spiritually!
Years
later...this small workshop will be remembered as the point where Vishwa Amara
opened up. I’m mighty happy for these two friends of mine, for the opportunities
that stretch before them. And yes.... a bit concerned of the pitfalls that come
with great work, great responsibilities and recognition. The pitfall that ate
up someone who walked this path earlier.
If
they don’t pay attention...it will eat them too!
***
How do
you feel when you are at the receiving end of intense love? Tremendous
passion...something like a single minded madness, but totally pure, totally
sublime. Do you think... ‘Wow, what a gift from the Universe?’ Or do you think,
‘Do I deserve this? Can I take it?’
I feel
both. And I also feel.... is it possible to offer such an intense, pure,
passionate Love...to another human being? And if it’s possible...what a
pristine pure heart it must be, which offers such love!
***
I
still can’t believe that he is no more! Some people trust totally that he’s
still around, guiding them---but for me, he is dead and gone. Like anyone else.
It’s difficult to digest the fact that someone like him can be vanquished and
taken away by Death!
At one
stage, we were in awe of him, in total worship mode. Then as we understood his
work, the awe turned to respect and reverence. I wanted to be like him, develop
his strength, develop his capabilities at handling difficult situations, become
expansive the way he was, carry the love and compassion that he had....
Then...he
disappointed! Mightily. Like a very interesting movie which falters post
interval and ends up in a stupid climax! You come out of the hall, weary eyed,
with a bitter taste in your mouth, undecided whether you enjoyed the first half
or wasted your day. You love someone, and that person flops, makes a fool of
himself, contradicts himself---and you squirm, wondering, ‘what...’. You feel
betrayed for placing your love, trust and emotions in that person. Think sachin
tendulkar who gets clean bowled at the death overs, after painstakingly
building a great innings...!
People have very fond memories of him—memories
filled with love, reverence and gratitude. I too have such memories, but they
get clouded by something else. I try to remember his smiling, laughing, loving
face....and his angry, stern face comes up. I think of the solid base he built
up, the fantastic structures he raised...and they stand before me as empty,
hollow, lifeless edifices Now. The diamonds he had gathered around him, those
who had great capabilities, dedication and pure love for his work---I try to
remember them. But the only faces I remember are that of the sycophants and
devotees...who never questioned, who considered a kick-on-your-ass as a divine
test, who had a boss-is-always-right attitude.
Then
it strikes.... it’s a ‘last impression’ syndrome, about which I wrote earlier.
His
Soul is resting in peace, I’m sure. Maybe he’s smiling, from wherever he is, at
this drama, at the way he continues to affect people in various ways long after
his departure. The drama has ended for him, but we are still stuck in it. And
enjoying it, a bit!!!
