Holy...

Days of little sleep.
Fighting a thousand battles.
Battle weary, tired.

Not knowing if this road leads 'there'
This invisible burden
where does it come from
and why am I carrying it

Remember something someone said somewhere---
Nobody will come and lift you up,
take you out of your misery.
It's your own funeral and only you
gotta attend it

Don't know if this is liberating
or horribly scary
--that you have nobody but yourself to depend on

Questioning your own motives,
asking... Why?

A moment of clarity
that
it does not matter
either way
Whether you choose to lift your finger
or just let go and do nothing.

Still
walking this road
stumbling
stagnating

waiting
for the strength
to kick in from within
to get up
and start walking again

yeah, it arrives
in trickles
...