Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Blues....

Blogging blues strike again but in good company this time. I'm tired and depressed for no apparent reason--on all fronts. I'd love to say it's because of the hot weather, or maybe because of the general sense of gloom and hardships the world over, and I'm receiving a part of that mass karma. Or maybe, I'm feeling down and out for a silly reason, and am attracting similar vibes and feeling more depressed, attract stonger blues and on and on in a downward spiral. Or maybe I'm plain stupid. Whatever the reason, I feel stuck in each and every field. My meditation practices have stagnated and I feel, I have no energy to pull myself into a state of silence. Job sucks. My boss is an awesome asshole but I remember this advice and feel depressed--his assholeness isn't my problem, I only need to get the hell outta here, find something better, something that doesn't kill my soul. I began a few ventures and they fizzled out pretty soon. One blunder happened but the worse part was my inaction, my non-acknowledgment of it, my lack of seriousness. I go on to say something, blurt out something dumb and soon there are sullen faces around.

I know it's temporary and this too shall pass. And it isn't a good practice to spread gloom in a world which is already fucked up and is in desperate need of something fresh, something cheerful, something inspiring. And there's no point in massaging that self-pity gland in your brains and enjoy a bout of sado-masochistic pleasure.

But if blogging is something about jotting down your day-to-day experiences, observations, insights and stupidity and sharing it with others--not just giving a hunky-dory picture of reality, then this is my reality for today. Let it go into the records.

6 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Blogging is a kind of therapy. I hope you somehow felt better after writing this post. :)

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  3. Strange how I am going through the same blues! The same sense of being stuck in every aspect of my life....guess that's my reality for today too.

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  4. Each of us goes through cycles and sometimes they have nothing to do with the reality of the day.

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  5. Stick with the blues if you can, and step back a little and watch them. Changing the circumstances isnt the answer, you know that! But something will change, that is for certain. Nothing stays the same. Hang on in there, watching and waiting for change!

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  6. Kikit...yes, I felt better after writing it. Similar to throwing up in the company of an understanding friend, when you're stuck up.:-)

    Meena...Val's answer is for both of us :-)

    Tabor...but sometimes the lower cycle never seems to end and you start suspecting whether the chain broke off and you aren't gonna come up again. Of course, you'll surface but until then, it's pure pain.

    Val...thanks a lot. I will.

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