Days of little sleep. Fighting a thousand battles. Battle weary, tired.
Not knowing if this road leads 'there' This invisible burden where does it come from and why am I carrying it
Remember something someone said somewhere--- Nobody will come and lift you up, take you out of your misery. It's your own funeral and only you gotta attend it
Don't know if this is liberating or horribly scary --that you have nobody but yourself to depend on
Questioning your own motives, asking... Why?
A moment of clarity that it does not matter either way Whether you choose to lift your finger or just let go and do nothing.
Still walking this road stumbling stagnating
waiting for the strength to kick in from within to get up and start walking again
and it's Baba Ramdev who's sending shivers up our Government's spine with his threats of a fast unto death. So we have quite some drama all over the place, with people taking sides and fighting over the rights and wrongs. Some accuse him of politicizing the issue to gain some mileage(He after all has intentions of 'cleaning up the mess' by joining politics). Questions are raised about his assets and wealth while he continues to provide homilies about bringing back our black money stashed away abroad. There's also this argument which looks at the positive outcome of this nautanki . If there's an uprising, an awareness against corruption with such acts, what's wrong?
If you ask my opinion, he should be allowed to continue to fast unto death and actually achieve it. That is fast...unto death! A mere empty threat doesn't work anymore, so he should be supported in his suicide bid. This has a double benefit. One--the protests against government apathy or corrupt practices will not fizzle out(as it happened with anna hazaare movement). A self-sacrifice will alert the govt and also wake up everyone else, and there'll be some real outcomes and concrete steps taken instead of empty words.
The second benefit is more encouraging. No other scoundrel will dare issue threats, saying, 'Look guys, if you don't listen to me or agree to my demands, I'm gonna stop eating and die'. Because he knows that he'll simply be allowed to die, so there'll be no dramas, no posturing, no debates on television, no political mileage. People will start behaving like human beings and think of solving issues, the way humans are supposed to.
Else, this is a perfect launch pad for the Baba to enter politics and upset the power balance. He says he wants to clean things up and take the nation forward. Such cock and bull stories are good to sway audiences but look carefully--he's fucked up with power-hunger and self-importance. And yeah, we all are naive to doubt his intentions.
* * *
May 21st arrived and went without a whimper but there was one nut in the US who had proclaimed the end of the world and the arrival of Christ on this day. Looks like he wasn't an ordinary nut but quite a big shot. Now he seems to have gone cold!
At times I have similar misgivings about the December 21st date next year...that nothing will happen, while we all dance and cry ourselves hoarse about the alignments, calenders, solar flares, earth-rotation-reversals etc. (though VA says, things are postponed to 2015). That is supposed to be a major point of paradigm shift, where life as we know it will go through a total upheaval and we'll have consciousness shifting events occurring. But what if nothing happens? Absolutely nothing?
That could be the real paradigm shift! Nothing happens and all those who've invested a lot in it, emotionally, with full faith will just go mad. A lot of people who are simply fed up with the world and want things to change are going to be majorly let down and disappointed if no big thing occurs. They'll just collapse because they thought it would all be over, but no, the bloody life continues to stare the hell at ya for another eternity. Is that the collapse? The real collapse?
Take a bet but I guess, we're in for a huge cosmic joke. The Gods above will be rolling on the floor laughing at us for predicting what's gonna happen in future. They must've already started giggling. Let me be bloody wrong, damnit.
* * *
Amidst all this nonsense, something to hold your heart in a soothing embrace.
Pakistani singer Atif Aslam crooning from his depths. The silky, seductive whispers of Alisha Chinoy. You gotta have the red hot pair of Ranbir-Katrina in mind as you listen. A superb blend of melody and beats. Some yearning, some longing, a hint of lust.
What you have is a song I've been listening to non-stop since two days. Superb!
Days of little sleep.
