Kothigalu...
It's funny how things which are sacred and sacrosanct in your younger years appear foolish and downright stupid once you get past that age, once you grow up a bit and gain some perspective.
When you look back, you squirm uncomfortably for those actions, those thoughts, that attitude which your younger self possessed. You want to travel back in time and kick that bloody fella for being such an ass. You want to shake him up and say, 'hey, wake up. you don't know what the eff you're doing.'
And that idiot is screwing up your life, because what he does will shape your life down the years and you'll have trouble cleaning up all the shit that he caused in the first place.
In the middle of a 'friendly' arguement, she says, 'I know what you did and what you said, 'then'. How could you be so insensitive and such a boot-licking chummy like all those other idiots?.' And I wanna protest saying, 'It wasn't me. He was someone else, so kindly excuse. I'm not him.'
Of course, I am a different person now. And a few years later, I'll be somebody else. Maybe my future self will look back at my present self and feel a terrible discomfort for my current, sacred, precious actions and thoughts. He'll think, 'What a joker! what was he thinking back then? what the hell was he doing there?'
Even more horrible is to live in ignorance of ones own foolishness. And to continue plodding on with the same mindset, the same actions.
Wake up and you realise your lunacy. Try to fix things and years later, you'll have another awakening which'll make you embarassed for all those fixes you tried. Don't wake up at all and you're a gone case.
Being a perpetual idiot seems to be the default human condition, even for the wisest monkey amongst us.
