Thursday, July 13, 2017

Hero and heroine make love in the rains, unmindful of the director yelling "cut" repeatedly. The scene comes out extremely well and realistic in the movie, and there are gossip mills which say that they actually "did it", it wasn't just acting after all, etc., but who cares, the movie matters. The comic relief in the movie is actually dating the heroine, but she is getting bored of him off late, so to spite him, she gets close to the hero, a bashful handsome young man who's actually had to sleep with both the producer and the director, both men, in order to bag this role. The movie is a spy thriller plus a tender love story set in World War 2 Germany, and there's lots of action, melodrama, romance, death and resurrection, but in the end....it's just a bloody movie. Everybody goes home.

 Not very different from real life. Except that, I don't realise deep enough that THIS TOO is a movie. My day-to-day life, the people, situations, conflicts, goals, obstacles, realisations and revelations---all are a part of a plot, a part of a drama that I'm too closely involved with. The truth of the 'movieness' of life ---it strikes suddenly like a lightning at times, but is gone in a flash before I allow it to sink in deep. And then, out of the blue, it strikes again. And again.

I want to take it deep...right there...into my bones, marrow, cells, atom, and the fucking empty space that encompasses the atoms. I want this truth to come blazing out from those depths! And I shall see to it that it does!!!

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