Sunday, March 23, 2014

Change...??? Arrrrgggghhh!!!

I have a problem with the temporariness of life. I hate it...deep from within my gut. Whoever decided on this rule....they deserve to rot in hell for eternity.

I want this moment....the people around me....the situation of life that surrounds me....to just continue to exist, forever!!! I don’t want it to change. I don’t want my colleagues to change and shift to some other IT Company. I don’t want my near and dear ones to move away. Nor do I want my friends to go away. I would want my house to remain as it is...forever.

Why did my childhood change so swiftly...and why did Time gobble up all my friends, classmates and sweethearts of my early days? My native village exists as it is...but no...it has changed? The people have vanished...many have changed beyond recognition...and I myself have changed. Why didn’t time freeze when I was a kid? Why is everything in such a stupid hurry to change, to evolve...and to perish?

My favourite cricketer....why the hell should he retire and be forgotten...damn it!!! I don’t like the fact that my favourite movie star, who could bash up 20 goons on screen and win the heart of his sweetheart...I don’t like the fact that he grows old...does stupid roles...and finally passes away. I want him to remain as he was...and warm my heart, forever. The whole battery of a movie industry that I’m familiar with...I want that to remain as it is...as if frozen in the present moment. Change...uh???..My foot!!!

Nor do I accept the reality that my favourite novelist, R.K.Narayan cannot write any more novels...simply because he is dead. And Khushwanth Singh! And Shivaram Karanth. And a thousand other fantastic poets, writers, artists!!! Why can’t they just exist forever and create magic with words, colours and their mere presence? Why should they move away? What a horrible waste of stupendous talent?

I want my son to remain the adorable chubby toddler that he was! And yeah, I also want him to remain the naughty, curious, I-have-a-question sweetheart that he is right now!! When I look into the mirror...I want that receding hairline...to stop right there and bloody freeze. Don’t want it to recede further...I look awesome right now.

My friends, their equations with me, their attitudes---why should it all change? Why should things fritter away? Why did that lovely old man become a stone-hearted angry bully...and then pass away? Why couldn’t he stay as he was forever? Why did our close knit group explode...and people don’t talk to each other anymore? Bloody Scoundrels! Why do dreams die? Why can’t they remain fresh, fragrant and beautiful...? Why does the Sun rise and evaporate the early morning dew drops on my rose bush?

Why should things change? Why don’t things remain the same forever? What’s the point to life if all the lovely and beautiful and dreadful things come and go...within the blink of an eye?

Fuck you God...I hate ye.

6 comments:

  1. I liked the way you showed your frustration on being old and losing on friends whom you always thought would be next to you. Believe me I have similar thought but dont have the writing skills to express this way

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  2. Don't slap God like this ! ... Vishu,, you have a son because from your childhood you grew into an adult otherwise , things would be stagnant for you and everyone's life if change is prevented by nature.. You have mentioned many times that Change is the only constant thing.... !
    Beautiful questions about self and life ..... every moment in the cosmos keeps changing, it's beautiful , just flow with the change,, but i too wish at times why our son is growing so fast, i am unable cope up at times with changes in my surrounding ! but LOVE and ACCEPT the secret tonic towards all flow of changing times/ and life !.... well your hair line is decreasing gradually,... still you look the why you should. Love The Way The Life Was, Is and Will be... Have heart full of thanks for The Universe for all that has brought you with your life... Nice Post, .. God , actually he loves you !... ..... .... :-)

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  3. If everything remained as it was.. you would never discover yourself. You would never Know that gem inside of you which can glow brighter..and brighter and brighter until it can just be a glaring light ! The friends...some remain, some leave.. it is good tat way.. becoz whatever does not fit in our environment gradually withers away. The novelists..and the writers u mention are like sweets which u cannot eat foever becoz new has to arrive. May be much evolved ones, more flavours, more textures..! What u have written in this writing is a deep urge to HOLD ON to things. But that stagnants.
    The old man whom you talk about.. became what he became and that was the best..becoz we are soaring into the skies ourselves NOW !!! Yet...his love is remembered !
    No.. Ur son cannot remain a chubby cherub forever.. for he is here to experience other shades of life. But may be there are other dimensions where children remain children..discover !
    They say receeding hairline talks abt the life led in 3rd dimension..with hair greying a bit at the temples..! What is wrong with that !
    There is a beauty to the temporariness of these fleeting moments...
    Stand with OPEN ARMS more beautiful moments to rush into your life !!

    And about God.. well.. may be he laughs at the hatred we throw at him..becoz it does not really matter to him !

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  4. Pace of change is reasonable though..I think. Imagine how life could be if things, even the lovely and beautiful, remained forever! We would have died of boredom.

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  5. yup....change is reasonable and well paced...yet, the desire for something permanent is also deep within. Maybe there are worlds where things don't change....and we enjoy the permanence without getting bored :)

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    1. Ya..! Must be. These worlds may be exsisting :) If not.. may be you can create one and let us know !! ;-)

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