I have a new ritual, off late.
Every morning I wake up and ask, ‘What does today have in store for me?’ And sometimes that day springs up a surprise and knocks me down. As the new dawn breaks open, I go into the day with an open mind, without expecting anything....and many times get enriched. A new way of relating to life. And it’s totally refreshing!!!
There is joy in the air. A fun perspective for mundane things. Some of us meet online and make a laugh-riot over something or the other... like this. Come from joy, moment by moment. Share that joy with others and laugh endlessly. Madness...divine madness!
Tolle says ‘be in this moment....everything else is an illusion’.... and I’m beginning to experience it. Did not expect this new ‘me’...a few months ago. So..... have stopped seeing where I’ll go from here. This moment is beautiful and it’s opening new avenues for me.
* * *
‘It’s my duty to tell you where you are going wrong’
‘You guys are not treating your elders well. How much hurt you’ve caused them and what karmas you’ve attracted?’
‘Why do you talk to your kid in that language? You should be speaking to him in ‘our’ language, isn’t it?’
‘These people, these new friends of yours....you don’t know about them’
‘And your writing.....you should write in this particular way...that’s what suits you and will make you rich and famous’
....Finally I said, ‘Dude, Just shut the f*** up and get lost’.
Then I tried to analyse why this person is still an annoyance in my life all these years. A kind of self-examination. I don’t go around telling others what’s wrong with them. Nor do I interfere in or dissect their family affairs. I’m unbothered about someone’s parenting skills, interactions or vocation. All my friendships are light and easy—we talk, laugh, message, chat, meet, exchange pleasantries and go our ways---without making any effort to improve the other person. This particular relation has been a headache and it’s amazing that I’ve put up with this so long.
‘Something’s within you.... some trait ...which attracts his energies. Check’. ....Mmmm. I have this slight desire to share, to lead, to guide. A kind of ‘I know something good here, and since you don’t know it, I wanna share it with you and help you grow’. A genuine wish to help others... but still a bit patronising. Is this trait pulling this great man towards me? Or any other unconscious pattern that still needs to be addressed?
I believe, and know to some extent, that things happen in such ways---there are no accidents. Some people in your life are nothing but major lessons. Those unlearnt lessons manifest as these people until you learn and let go. Then such people detach from you and go in search of those who match their energies. Clear yourself first and you’re free of them!
So as I begin to love and accept these traits within me...I also thank this person for bringing me this lesson. I gently remove him from my life once for all and let him go his way, on his journey to learn/unlearn his lessons. Good bye to the old dross! And I continue to walk on the new path that’s opening up before me!
* * *
A friend connects to me on face-book and I’m hearing from him after nearly 20 years! He was this gentle, studious, charming person and as I go through his wall and try to relate to the new person he has become, I’m pulled back in time to my high-school years.
That time of severe changes, a transitory period from childhood to adolescence. The start of stammering, of aloofness, of severe studies and ambitions of getting a rank at the state level board exams. The time of losing innocence, responding to the new changes in the body, the awkwardness. The time of learning martial arts, playing football all day long, learning to rebel in small ways. The friends of those years whom life pulled away in different unknown directions. The teachers and their everlasting influence. The humiliations, triumphs and bewilderments.
It was a bubble... a kind of cocoon we had entered before bursting forth into an unknown, dangerous world beyond the school years. A safe cocoon! And very similar to where I find myself in, right now!! This cocoon is safe now but very soon we will be bursting forth into a new world. An extraordinary, dangerous world pulsating with new possibilities and potentials.
That world needs a new heart, a pair of new wings. And this cocoon is the place to build them!